Sunday, December 15, 2013

Shane and Hannah's wedding sermon 14 Dec 2013

--> Here's a wedding sermon that enough people have indicated was helpful to them that I thought it would be more generally helpful.  So here it is!  Fresh from yesterday at St Alfred's Anglican Church
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My name is Wei-Han Kuan.  I’m a member of St Alfred’s, and a family friend of the Russes.  It’s a great joy and privilege to be asked by our lovely couple to open up God’s Word to us today.


I preach at weddings from time to time, and on one memorable occasion here I was asked to preach from the whole Book of Ruth!  Well today, we have three readings selected by Shane and Hannah. 

1. An account of creation from the start of the Bible. 

2. The pastor Paul’s letter to a New Testament church.

3. And the Apostle John’s vision of the future, from the end of the Bible. 


I saw these readings about two weeks ago, and thought, this is really a coded message from Shane and Hannah saying something like this: 

‘Wei-Han, we’ve got the beginning of the Bible, the end of the Bible, and a Christ-centred piece expressing the centre of the Bible.  So what we’d really like you to do at our wedding is preach from the whole Bible.’  I’m not sure how long we have this afternoon…


Three readings.  Three headings.  Here they are:

First – Marriage Matters.

Second – Christ Matters.

Third – Heaven Matters.


We’ll spend most of our time on the first heading, and least on the last. 


First then, Marriage Matters.

Genesis 2.

Marriage matters, according to the Bible, because we are created for relationship. 

The first sentence or verse, verse 18:

The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’.  Loneliness is not good.

In Genesis chapter one, God has been busy creating everything, and everything is created good. 

But here something is not quite right yet.

And God does something about it: he says, I will make a helper suitable for him.

 Immediately, something in our minds thinks ‘helper’ equals subordinate, inferior, weaker.  Please disabuse yourself of that notion immediately.  For the Hebrew word, ezer – that’s the language the OT was originally written in – that word is used 114 times in the OT, and everywhere outside this chapter refers to some sort of military or mighty powerful help. In fact, in more than half of those occurrences, ezer is used to refer to God as our helper.  

For example in Psalm 118,  ‘The LORD is with me; he is my helper’.

 No, the helper or ezer envisaged for Adam in creation isn’t subordinate and weak, but powerful and godly.  Someone whose strength and ability will be, v20, the word there is ‘suitable’. 

 Again we lose something in translation; for the particular phrase there is kinegedo ‘a helper in front of, or opposite to, him’.  Adam needs a helper in front of, opposite to him.  The idea is that he needs someone who is complementary to him, not identical to him.  Please notice: suitability here, means complementarity.  Not someone just like him, but someone who will best complement all that he is. 

 They are equals, but not identical.  How can we tell?  Because the Lord God creates the woman from the man’s rib, from his side, to stand beside him.  The Bible commentator Matthew Henry’s expresses it well, albeit with a bit of poetic licence:

 Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him …  near his heart to be beloved.

Astute Bible readers will remember that we’ve already read in Genesis chapter one that God created human beings in the image of God, male and female he created them.  That is, both created in the image of God: one male, and one female. 

 God brings her to him, v22, and he is evidently pleased, for he gushes out the first ever marriage vows in all of human history:


This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh.


Doesn’t really sound all that romantic, does it?


I don’t know how many of you know the story of how Shane and Hannah met, but it was at St Mark’s residential college at Adelaide Uni.  They’d been assigned rooms next to each other.  And during O-week Shane saw Hannah playing the guitar, and I quote Shane, “I was smitten… and then she didn’t talk to me for 6 months”. 


Or about the time slightly later when Shane and another St Mark’s mate heard the sound of someone singing and playing the guitar.  It was so sublime and beautiful, they tracked the sound down, and coming around a corner they saw it was Hannah, and Shane mate blurted out, “Woah… will you marry me?”



Hear again these words, from humankind’s prototypical marriage: The words the man blurts out when he sees for the first time, his bride for life:

 This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh.

He’s saying, ‘Here is the one who is so much a part of me, it is as if she is my flesh and bones.  I feel such a bond with her, it is as if we are knit together in the same body, so close to my heart and soul is she.’

It is an incredible, passionate declaration of the tie that now binds the man and woman! 


She shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man. 

The word play in English mirrors the word play in Hebrew.

She shall be called ishah for she was taken out of ish

Again – the point isn’t that she is subordinate – but that she is the equal and essential complementary part of a wonderful unity.

Verse 24 makes that clear. 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

It is the wonderful uniting and oneness that is in view.

Marriage matters – because the Lord God created us for relationship.  Male and female, created for marriage. 

Notice, good marriage is the pinnacle of God’s good creation. 

That’s why weddings are such wonderful celebrations, aren’t they?  Because there is something in almost every wedding that is bursting with joy at the anticipation of the wonderful creative partnership that is coming together, and being sealed with promises of faithfulness and love.  A partnership from which children may be born and new life enter into the world. 

But here’s a note of warning.  Genesis 3, the next chapter, will describe humankind’s fall from grace, and the entry of sin and disappointment and death into the world.  With that in mind, imagine this scenario:

Imagine you’re a single.  Imagine that you could pick for yourself your 100 most likely marriage partners.  The 100 most sensibly desirable persons for you.  And then imagine you could make them apply in writing, with references. 

Maybe you make them interview with your close friends and family.  You short-list the top 10.  Then you date each of them a couple of times.  Then you further short-list to the top 3; you meet their families; you date them for three or four months each; and at the end of that year you pick the winner and go through rigorous marriage preparation and have a dream wedding. 

What do you end up with?

The Bible says, that even after all that, you still end up

with one sinner, marrying another sinner. 

Here’s a piece of news for you.  My wife Valerie thought I was perfect when we got married.  That lasted about six hours.

Shane – you know that today you’re marrying Hannah:

a sinful person in need of the grace of God in Christ.

Hannah – you know that today you’re marrying Shane:

a sinful person in need of the grace of God in Christ.

Shane and Hannah, you know today that

Marriage matters, but Christ matters more. 

That’s the point of our second reading.  Christ matters more. 

That is why, of all the world’s major monotheistic religions, only Christianity affirms singleness.  Think about it: Jesus Christ was single – and perfectly fulfilled.  

For Christians who do get married, like Shane and Hannah today, we realise that we’re entering into marriage on this side of the Fall.  We’re each imperfect, each  deeply flawed, inclined to be selfish and self-centred; despite our best intentions.  The Bible calls that sin, and its described as a deep infection that has only one cure.

That cure of course, is Christ Jesus himself. 

It’s easy on a cursory reading of Colossians 3, to think that Christianity is all about what I’d call moralistic do-good-ism.  Look at it please.  First paragraph: you’re a Christian now. Second paragraph: don’t do bad stuff.  Third paragraph: do good stuff. 

But such a reading misses the Good News that lies at the heart of the Christian faith.  All cultures make up their rules for good and evil; justice and fairness.  But rules, according to the Bible, are helpless to save. 

Anyone can make up great promises for a wedding service; but conflict and challenges will come and keeping those promises for a lifetime is quite another matter. 

But even if a couple can keep a marriage together.  Even if the commitment lasts and a couple stays happily married for seventy or eighty years, one day, one of you will die, and then what?  What do you do with the tragic sense of grief and loss then?  And then, commonly, the other spouse dies soon after.  And the rest of us ask, what was that all it was about?  A happy life of eighty or ninety years.. and then what? 

Marriage matters.  It’s a great gift of God.  Marriage and earthly joy and happiness matter.  But Christ matters more.

Let’s read Colossians 3 carefully.  The apostle Paul is writing to the Christians in the city of Colossae.  How do we know they are Christians?  Well we are told explicitly in Chapter One.  But even here in Chapter Three, we read, they have been – first sentence – ‘raised with Christ’.     

Or v3 – their lives are ‘now hidden with Christ in God’. 

Or v4 – ‘When Christ, who is your life...’  Christ is their life!   What an incredible thing to say.  Here in Melbourne we’re more likely to say X footy team is his life.  Or fishing is his life.  Or adventure sports is his life.  But here, Christ is their life.  They are Christian believers – avid and committed disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Please notice: being a Christian isn’t a matter of having followed a bunch of rules.  The rules are in the next paragraph – we’ll get to them in time. 

Being a Christian is not about following rules. 

Being a Christian is about a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. 

That’s what the language of being ‘raised with Christ’, ‘hidden with Christ in God’ and having ‘Christ as your life’ is indicative of. 

In particular, being a Christian is about relying on Jesus Christ for forgiveness.  We see this at the end of verse 13: Forgive as the Lord forgave (past tense) you. 

Christians, like Shane and Hannah, and like so many of us here today, recognise that at the heart of the human condition is what our second paragraph, v5, calls our ‘earthly nature’… and we see the list of things that make it up through the paragraph:  sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, idolatry, anger, rage, male slander, filthy language… lying… and from v11, racism, and all forms of  class-ism.  In the Bible, this isn’t an exclusive list; there’s plenty more of this stuff in every human being. 

 Christians recognise that for all of this, we need forgiveness.  And the message of the Bible is that

God comes to earth in human form at Christmas; and that baby grows up into the God-man Jesus Christ, who dies on the Cross at Easter, paying the price for all that brokenness and wrongness; purchasing forgiveness from God for us.

Not only for us – and here’s why the Christian message is called Good News:

That forgiveness full and free is available for all who would believe on Christ. 

For all who would believe that the baby in the manger at Christmas is real,

the man on the Cross at Easter is real, and died for them. 

That’s what it means for Shane, for Hannah, for me, and for many of us here today, that we declare the Lord Jesus as our Saviour.

Please listen carefully: Shane and Hannah wanted me to say this today: that if you’re here, and you haven’t said yes to Jesus in your life, then their wedding day would be a great day to say yes to Jesus on.  It’s pretty simple, just say yes to the baby we sing about in so many Christmas carols.  And just say yes to the man who died on the Cross at Easter so that you might live.  And then tell someone about it please – so they can encourage you and help you along the way.  You can tell me. 

If you’d like to find out more, then Shane and Hannah would love to help you –  after their honeymoon.  You’ve got a standing invitation to dinner and meaningful conversation at their place.  There’s a clipboard out back where you can sign up for advance bookings… just kidding. 

But wait, some of you Christians say; we also declare Jesus to be Lord. 

That’s true. 

Shane was telling me that a key moment in his walk with God came when he heard a sermon challenging him to be a person of the Kingdom of God, rather than a person of the world.  That’s when he decided that Jesus had to be Lord of his life, and that following Jesus meant… following Jesus, heart, soul, mind and strength!  Not just paying lip-service in church a couple of times a year, or nodding knowingly at sermons. 

That’s the connection to the rest of the passage from Colossians.  For true Christian faith is transformative.  It does not leave us where we began.  It puts us on a path of increasing maturity and godliness, wisdom and love.  All this, not of our own ability or strength, but with the power that God promises to supply to those who call on him through Christ.  What a wonderful promise of God!  You can access it today! 

Shane and Hannah – will you access that promise today?  Will you determine this day to stay on that path of increasing maturity in Christ?  Here’s a prayer you can pray right now, and each day from now on: Lord, please help me to be the husband or wife you want me to be. 

Marriage matters, but Christ matters more. 

Now finally and briefly, Heaven matters. 

The Bible teaches us that earthly marriage is a wonderful foretaste of a heavenly wedding and marriage to come.  And our last reading provides us with a vision of the heavenly future – beyond death – when all the redeemed in Christ will gather at the wedding supper of the Lamb.  The Lord Jesus, the lamb of God slain for the sins of the world. 

All other things being equal, we will each grow old, get physically weaker, and die.  As a parent of three young children, I’m already thinking about the reversal that is to come; when one day I will be as weak and helpless as my children were in their earliest days. 

We talk about these things quite openly in our family, and my four and a half year old, Samuel, piped up the other week and said in complete seriousness, ‘Dad.  Don’t worry.  When you grow old.  I’ll change your nappies.’

God through his Word teaches us not to worship this life – and especially not to worship all that is so good and enjoyable in it.  In fact, our particular temptation is to worship the good gifts of God, instead of God himself.  Even Christian marriage is not to be worshipped.  We will each grow old.  Disease and death will grieve us terribly in time to come. 

Shane and Hannah, you know the love of God in Christ, that transcends this mortal coil.  Our prayer for you, at the beginning of this part of your journey, is that this wedding today, and your marriage hereafter, might be a wonderful foretaste of the heavenly wedding and marriage to come – between Christ and his church; between God and his people. 

When you think back on this day, do remember:

Marriage matters – Genesis – God made it good.

Christ matters more – Colossians – set your hearts on things above.

Heaven matters – Revelation – Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb.


Amen.