I think there is incredible pressure on us to normalise marriage, family, 2.3 kids and to marginalise singles. Both the prevailing church culture in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne and the overall culture of urban and suburban Australia do this (to a certain extent). Consider some typical movie or tv show narratives: families are often fun and 'normal', singles are eccentric and odd-ball-funny. Every rom-com has a marriage narrative weaving through it. So no wonder we buy the message that marriage is best, singleness is second best.
The related question of what we can do about it, on the basis of what we've learnt from 1 Corinthians chapter 7, is a good one. I think just having our teaching series has been a start. Giving singles 'stage-time' and an acknowledged leadership presence in our community is another. Inviting quality leaders to speak who are single, is yet another. I'm not yet convinced of the value of a distinctly 'singles' ministry - see this parody of them: Surviving Church as a Single.
Any other ideas?
Including singles in 'family services' (i.e most morning church services) by recognising that not everyone is a married in sermon applications, choice of leaders, sermon topics etc. And similarly, recongising that not everyone at 'family' services has, can have, or wants to have children.
ReplyDeleteI also strongly endorse your suggestion from Sunday night that married couples continue to remember to hang out with their single friends.
My biggest point would be: remembering that 'family' in the body of Christ is bigger than your nuclear family - it includes singles, windows, divorcees, children, youth - and remembering to care for them and let them care for you!
- Elizabeth
It's a funny question in that, in Western Christianity, marriage has often been considered second-best. The Catholic Encyclopedia says "we have ample warrant in the language of Our Saviour, and of St. Paul for looking upon virginity as the higher call, and by inference, as the condition befitting those who are set apart for the work of the ministry." (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03481a.htm) As wrong as that view is, the arguments it's produced are enough to put paid to any idea that singleness is second-best in God's view.
ReplyDeleteBut pagan Aussie culture has its own values, and sex, children and family are all near the top of its list. They're good things, so it's easy to worship them like the world does.
But they're gifts of a God who made them for a purpose and you'll make a mess if you abuse them.
I like Liz' point that a Christian's main, permanent family is the Church. When we die, our human marriages end, but our marriage with Christ has only just begun.