Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What about single men in their 30s?

Question: "We heard a lot of talk about single women Christians, but what about the men?  What advice do you have for them?"
Well, thanks for asking.  You're right.  A lot of our thinking and awareness around singleness in our context tends towards single women.  This means that a temptation for unhappily single men is to think that there's something wrong with them, since none of the many single women seem to be interested.  If only finding a partner were as simple as being the 'right' sort of person!
I shy away from offering any dating advice or 'how to find a spouse' advice.  I just know too many good and godly single men and women who are just that: single.
If anything the Scriptures invite us to trust that the Lord is good, and that God's purposes for us are for good not ill.  They also tell us to keep being busy about the Lord's work - loving and serving others, being engaged in mission and in encouraging your fellow Christians.  So....

  • Find opportunities to serve in contexts where you will meet and keep meeting people.  
  • Keep growing as a believer, keep being changed by the power of the Spirit and by the truth of the Word.  I find that men and women who are growing in godliness and in effectiveness as God's people in God's world, are intrinsically attractive.  
  • Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).  Work on both.  
  • The flip side of this is that ungodliness and irresponsibility are unattractive.  So if you don't wash, don't keep reasonably healthy, don't have a job, don't have 'purpose' in life...
  • Cultivate lots of Christian friendships, with both genders, with different ages.  And hopefully your Christian community is helping you out in this - see previous post! 


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