"Excuse me, would you like to read the Bible with me?"
"Wow, that's a great WWJD bracelet. I've got one in blue. Would you like to see if our colours match over coffee?"
"I'm going to a prayer meeting. Wanna come along?"
Ok, enough fun for one post. The question begs another one about dating, and all the cultural presuppositions that go with it. If by 'date' you mean hanging out exclusively to get to know one another with a definite view towards marriage, then a good way to ask is by being up front about that. Josh Harris in his book 'Boy Meets Girl' tells the story of how that happened with his (now) wife. A bit of circling around each other, a bit of will-he or won't-she laugh at me, but eventually they awkwardly organise themselves into an exclusive just-him and just-her meal.
If however by 'date' you mean, 'I like that person and would just like to find out more, hang out more' but with no reference to how that person might feel about you, then perhaps the best course of action is to work out how to spend more time together in a group setting with other friends building friendship in that context.
"My church is running a marriage course this week. There's free dinner if I bring someone along..."
I see you are tackling all the big issues, definitely a contentious one!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I agree with the two scenarios you've given. I think there needs to be room for one on one 'dating' in the 'getting to know someone in a non-committed context' (second scenario). There's two main reasons for this; one, hanging out in a group is not always practical/possible if you don't have similar social circles, and two, because depending on your personality type it can be incredibly hard to get to know someone in a group context.
Anyways, that's just my thinking at this point in time and I certainly don't claim to have it figured out yet.
btw, when's the free dinner??
Hi Will! Yes, I think you're right, but I didn't want to jump too quickly to the one-on-one scenario - mainly because that's so loaded with cultural (read: North American movie) presuppositions.
ReplyDeleteFor most of human history, the 'checking out' and 'getting to know you' stuff happened in a group or community context, with others giving input! (helpful or otherwise: ref. Jane Austen.) So I definitely think the Christian community has a part to play in the process.
Dinner is... next marriage course?!!
Will - who are you planning to ask to the marriage dinner?
ReplyDeleteAnd I can set you up with some Jane Austen :)